Got Reminded Again Of My Old Coworker Who Was A Massive Misogynist But Also Trans Inclusive. Told Me

Actual things that happen in the 1897 Dracula novel, without context:

A character has ominous nightmares and attributes them to eating too much paprika

Dracula first appears wearing a fake beard

The person he was trying to fool with the fake beard immediately realizes Dracula and Beard Guy are the same man, due to both having really firm handshakes

We are told parrots are immortal unless fatally wounded

A Texan cowboy opens fire on a bat flitting around a window, and lodges a bullet in the wall of an occupied room

A woman is called a polyandrist for receiving blood transfusions from multiple men

An incorrectly addressed telegram leads to two deaths, multiple druggings, and several children being assaulted

Dracula, while trying to maintain a low profile, takes a lovely trip to the zoo and freaks out the animals so badly that he gets mentioned in a newspaper article

The one character who knows anything about vampires spends a good two-thirds of the book refusing to talk about vampires

Dracula went to Satan's Witchcraft Academy and somehow this is only brought up in two throwaway lines

A character gets stuck inside a circle of communion wafer crumbs

A major plot point of the book is Dracula (who was said to be a brilliant scholar and has the strength of twenty mortal men) realizing he can move boxes without human help

Someone is referred to as "manifestly a prig of the first water"

Two characters have a hobby of reading train schedules

A hospital lets a mental patient escape to see what will happen

A character starts vomiting up feathers from eating whole birds

A doctor refuses to give a medical diagnosis and instead makes a speech about growing corn

Dracula impersonates another character just by wearing the same clothes, despite being taller and visibly much older. This deception is successful.

A character "cleans" a room by eating all the insects in it

Suddenly: rats. Thousands of them.

The heroes progress in their efforts through "the wonderful power of money," i.e., bribery

Dracula has three other vampires in his castle. Their relation to him is never explained, nor are any of them named.

A character insists his salvation depends on having a pet cat

Dracula is thwarted by flowers on more than one occasion

A group of vampires stand in the hall outside a man's bedroom, talking loudly about their plans to eat him. When he comes to the door to confront them, they run away laughing

Dracula wears an unfashionable hat and gets roasted for it

A group of Romanians encounter a disheveled, shouting man and, "seeing from his violent demeanour that he was English, they [give] him a ticket for the furthest station on the way thither that the train reached."

A boat crashes due to Dracula having the munchies

A wolf is thrown through a window and immediately runs off, confused and covered in glass

Dracula makes a bed

Inspired by this WIP by @astranite <3

“Do I look okay?” John had frozen with his fingers tucked into his hair, a curl wound around his index. He twisted it on repeat, the only flicker of movement that remained, along with the dart of his eyes to Scott, around the room and then to the stars beyond. Would he pass their father's inspection? That’s the question John was really asking. Scott reached out. “May I?” John gave a short, sharp nod, eyes going back to the floor. His uniform hat hung loosely from his other hand, dancing on the borderline of keeping enough tension not to drop it.

Slowly and deliberately, Scott tugged John’s uniform straight, setting his lilac baldric on his shoulder proper, and smoothing out the wrinkles from sky blue fabric. It wasn’t perfect, it certainly wasn’t ironed, but it was better. John seemed more like his usual self, albeit standing shakily on his own two feet, now he didn’t look as much like he was fresh off of a crying jag. Or rather he was more of the John he put out to the world and everyone was allowed to see. And yet, there was a tiny bit more hope held in his frame and the way he actually breathed now. Scott kept his hands pressed to John’s chest a moment longer than necessary; he could feel his brother’s racing heart beating even through the layers of uniform and baldric. It was a blatant excuse to touch, woven together with the practical need to help, and an opportunity to be near taken after being so far away for so long. John rocked forward on his toes to lean into it and they stayed like that, locked together for a what could’ve been an eternity or a millisecond, before Scott slid his hands off the edges of John’s sharp shoulders and John returned to fidgeting with his hair. The movements though were a little frantic; John winced as he caught a snarl at the back as he attempted to fingercomb it into order, too clumsy and frustrated with himself. Scott gently took over when John’s stared at him, eyes an echo of sea green and pleading quietly. He clutched his hat to his chest as he wriggled the fingers of his other hand at his side in a never ending pattern of waves. Scott did his best to comb the back of his brother’s unruly hair to lie in the same direction, to become part of a pattern while the long, soft strands curl where John can’t see them. Waves. The waves of John’s stimming; the wavering lights of the auroras he studies. Maybe Scott was beginning to see why John always insisted it was all connected, the entire universe together. Then his mind returned to the waves of the oceans of Earth and the ripples of their pool overflowing when they all jumped in at the same time. Soon they would be there, John too. Scott swept a clump of strands away from where they brushed John’s neck and caught in his collar to join with the others. “Getting a bit long at the back here, Jay,” he murmured. John’s free hand turned to flickering. “Yeah. Maybe even Virge could… Y’know fix it while I’m on Earth.” “Course! He’d be happy to help. He does love a guinea pig for hairstyling experiments but he will just give you a trim, if that’s what you want.” John’s lips quirked up in a small smile. “Better than letting Grandma get a hold of me.” Grandma wielding the kitchen shears was nearly as terrifying as the prospect of her getting ahold of Brains’ plans for a turbo nuclear powered oven. Again. It sure was a way to cook, not even the solidly frozen turkey had survived its maiden flight last Christmas. John and Scott laughed over past family mishaps together. Maybe it was the prospect of joining them that made it so John didn’t change the subject to avoid them. Casual conversation could be painful in ways other people didn’t see until it was too late. Doing John’s hair though reminded Scott of getting his brothers ready as kids, lining them up in their good clothes for their father's rounds of inspection. He’d never not expected military spit and polish. John was usually the one to need least last minute fixing up. Virgil was a dirt magnet for paint, food and grease. Gordon had a talent for getting soaking wet five minutes before they had to be out the door, and Alan had been a literal baby. John would either be found sitting at the ready by the front door, his nose in a book, or he’d be helping Scott out with the others.

By LabradoriteKing on Pinterest

a compilation of jet siquliak quotes that did for me what therapy never could:

"I find that the way I think of the world often affects how it really is."

"Juno, I recommend you believe that you will survive this. For yourself."

"We may look backwards only to ensure we have not come this way before."

"One cannot blame a gunshot victim’s death solely on the designer of the gun nor the shooter. Both are guilty. Neither holds power without the other. And they are both to be feared."

"You are correct. We will never be forgiven. But that is not a reason to die. Not when other good can still be done. The past is dead behind us. The future is potential."

"You will build another. Or teach someone else to. Or do something else that is good. It will not be better than the suffering we've caused. But it will be good, and that must be enough. It is all we have."

"Growth is painful. But I have found that when two people are both attempting that growth, they can often find greater success if they do it together."

"In a galaxy this large, the connection between any two people must always be a miracle. It is not a miracle in the sense that it is rare. Even with so much empty space, humanity has chosen many times over to cluster together -- in communities, in families, in partnerships. Our collisions with other people are inevitable. But it is a miracle in the sense that each meeting, taken by itself, is so unlikely that it may as well be impossible. If the galaxy's grand clock were reset to its start, we could assume with confidence that this group of six would never be assembled again. With lives from planets Solar and Outer, from cities and swamps, it is doubtful that any two of us would make any connection at all. Yet here we are. And I know no name for that but 'miracle.'"

"Stop looking for why this can’t be happening and adapt to the fact that it is."

"I choose to believe it. And I choose to believe that my belief changes the world."

Fuck you, City of Ur!

If you're dumb enough to buy a cartload of copper this weekend, you're a big enough schmuck to come to Ea-Nasir's Imported Metals!

Bad deals! Low grade copper! Thieves!

If you think you're gonna find a bargain at Ea-Nasir's, you can kiss my ass!

It's our belief that you're such a stupid motherfucker you'll fall for this bullshit! Guaranteed!

If you find a better deal, shove it up your ugly ass! You heard us right, shove it up your ugly ass!

Bring your deposit, bring your sealed tablet, bring your messenger! We'll send him back!

That's right, we'll send your messenger back through enemy territory!Because at Ea-Nasir's, you're fucked six ways from Sunday!

Take a hike to Ea-Nasir's, home of challenge pissing! That's right, challenge pissing!

How does it work? If you can piss six feet in the air straight up and not get wet, you get no down payment!

Don't wait, don't delay, don't fuck with us, or we'll turn you into a eunuch!

Only at Ea-Nasir's, the only merchant that tells you to fuck off!

Hurry up, asshole! This event ends the minute after you make a donation to the palace, and it better not bounce or you're a dead motherfucker!

Go to hell! Ea-Nasir's Metals: Sumer's filthiest, and exclusive home of the meanest sons of bitches in Mesopotamia! Guaranteed!

Jedi women appreciation post

(press “j” to skip, it’s a very long one)

Did you know that out of the twenty-four named female Jedi (PT Order) who ever appeared onscreen (movies + cartoons), only three are caucasian? Because dang, I’ve seen people shitting on Lucas for his white male protagonists (unjustly in my opinion, he wanted Obi-Wan to be Japanese but Toshiro Mifune turned down the role), but the guy delivered on the background characters! Let me take you on a little tour that’s very likely to blow your mind.

(names are linked to the characters’ wookieepedia pages)

THE MOVIES:

Here’s Madame Jocasta Nu (human), formerly of the High Council, portrayed by Australian actress Aleathea McGrath. She’s so cool they call her Madame and not Master. Wonderful book grandma. (Also appears in TCW, has characterization in canon.)

(She’s incredibly badass.)

Then, here is Padawan Bene (human), one of the Padawans who died during Operation Knightfall in RotS. She’s played by Mousy McCallum, from the UK.

Okay, that’s two beautiful ladies so far.

And then we have Knight Aayla Secura (Twi’Lek) played by American actress Amy Allen. She’s the third caucasian-played Jedi woman, and the last one. She’s also the ONLY Jedi woman to wear something that’s even remotely sexualizing. (Also appears in TCW, has characterization in canon.)

Aaw, what a smile.

Then we have Master Yaddle (unknown species), the frog grandma from TPM. She’s lovely, and the only Jedi woman who isn’t absolutely drop dead gorgeous.

Finally, here is baby Ashla (Togruta), a little youngling in AotC. I wasn’t able to find who played her, so I’ve got nothing on her ethnicity. She looks like Shaak Ti though? She’s adorable.

Now, onto all the other beautiful, beautiful ladies George Lucas blessed us with :D

Here is Master Adi Gallia (Tholothian), of the High Council, played by English model Gin Clarke. (Also appears in TCW, has characterization in canon.)

I love her so much. TCW did not do her beauty justice.

Here is her cousin, Master Stass Allie (Tholothian), of the High Council. She was played by different actresses in AotC and RotS, but the most significant one is Lily Nyamwasa. She was meant to appear in TCW but the show was cancelled.

Stunning. I had to physically restrain myself from adding more pictures.

Moving on, we have Master Luminara Unduli (Mirialan), played by Kenyan actress Mary Oyaya. (Also appears in TCW + Rebels, has characterization in canon.)

Her outfit is just amazing. She’s awesome.

Wow.

Then, we have her Padawan, Barriss Offee (Mirialan), played by Australian actress Nalini Krishan, who is from the Fiji islands. (Also appears in TCW, has characterization in canon.)

Here is Master Depa Billaba (human), of the High Council. She’s played by Indian actress Dipika O'Neill Joti. (Also appears in comics, has characterization.)

Here is her sister, Master Sar Labooda (human), whose actress I couldn’t find. Yes, Depa has a sister!!! And it’s canon! But it’s such an obscure fact that no EU material ever made use of that it, kinda like with Adi Gallia and Stass Allie. I learned this just yesterday, and I’m very disappointed I didn’t know about it when I made my post on Jedi families and blood ties.

There were many background Jedi on Geonosis, and here is Master Khaat Qiyn (human), played by Zuraya Hamilton. (Also appears in comics.)

Also on Geonosis, we have Knight Bultar Swan (human), played by Australian actress Mimi Daraphet. Look at her <3

And here is youngling Mari Amithest (human), also from AotC - she’s from Clan Bear, like Ashla, and she’s played by Phoebe Yiamkiati. Not to be dramatic, but I’d die for her.

Finally, Master Shadday Potkin, whose actress I couldn’t find. She appears briefly in RotS.

That’s it for the movies. Some bright eyes might have noticed I didn’t include Master Shaak Ti. That’s because her make-up in the movies is atrocious and does not do justice to the beauty of the actress - so I’m putting her in the TCW category.

THE CARTOONS:

Master Shaak Ti (Togruta), of the High Council. In the movies, she was played by Oli Shoshan, an Israeli actress. (Has characterization in canon.)

TCW!Shaak Ti is so beautiful I wanna cry.

Here is Katooni (Tholothian), an adorable youngling. (Has characterization in canon.)

Then we have Padawan Ahsoka Tano (Togruta), who is going to be played in live-action by American actress Rosario Dawson. (Is to appear in live-action series, also appears in Rebels, has characterization in canon.)

Rosario looks more like Ahsoka’s design from Rebels, but I can’t be assed to go fishing for another picture. This post already crashed on me twice and this is my third time rewriting this.

Finally, here is Kalifa (human), a youngling. She’s always covered in dirt and TCW really isn’t the best at rendering distinctive ethnic features, and we have no actress to go on from. In the concept art I’ve found she kinda looks like she might be Eastern Asian? (Has characterization in canon.)

Now, onto the few characters who are too alien to belong to any human ethnic group.

We have Jedi Masters and twin sisters Tiplar and Tiplee (Mikkians). They wear matching outfits, which I love. (Have characterization in canon, Tiplee also appears in comics.)

Knight Finn Ertay (Twi’Lek).

Ganodi (Rodian), a youngling from the same clan as Katooni. She’s so cute I could cuddle her to death. Look at her little antennae! (Has characterization in canon.)

And Jedi Consular Rig Nema (unknown species). Her outfit is amazing. (Has characterization in canon.)

BONUS CONTENT:

Here are the few named Jedi left. They’re from the Disney canon, not the LucasFilm canon, so they appear in video games and comics. They follow the same trend though.

Master Cere Junda (human), played by American actress Debra Wilson. (Has characterization.)

Her Padawan, Trilla Suduri (human), played by American/Dominican actress Elizabeth Grullon. (Has characterization.)

Master Cyslin Myr (Mirialan), from the Age of the Republic comics. I’d say she looks human enough to see that she has African features, like Luminara. (Has characterization.)

Knight Rissa Mano (Devaronian), from the same comics. Unfortunately, the drawing style is too inconsistent, so we’ll put her in the “too alien” category. (Has characterization.)

Knight Bant Eerin (Mon Calamari), who was re-canonized by the Obi-Wan and Anakin book. (Has characterization.)

And finally, Tai Uzuma, a youngling from the Kanan comics. (Has characterization.)

That’s all the named female Jedi from the PT-era Order (except for the ones who only appear in books and thus have no faces). There are thirty of them, and three are caucasian, nine are too alien for ethnicity to be applicable, and eighteen are women of color. Fourteen out of the twenty-two adult ones are Masters, not Knights (that’s over one in two) and six have been on the Council (that’s over one in four)!

They are all simply gorgeous, they are not sexualized in any way, and many of them wear incredible custom outfits.

tldr: The Jedi Order rocks.

hot artists don't gatekeep

I've been resource gathering for YEARS so now I am going to share my dragons hoard

Floorplanner. Design and furnish a house for you to use for having a consistent background in your comic or anything! Free, you need an account, easy to use, and you can save multiple houses.

Comparing Heights. Input the heights of characters to see what the different is between them. Great for keeping consistency. Free.

Magma. Draw online with friends in real time. Great for practice or hanging out. Free, paid plan available, account preferred.

Smithsonian Open Access. Loads of free images. Free.

SketchDaily. Lots of pose references, massive library, is set on a timer so you can practice quick figure drawing. Free.

SculptGL. A sculpting tool which I am yet to master, but you should be able to make whatever 3d object you like with it. free.

Pexels. Free stock images. And the search engine is actually pretty good at pulling up what you want.

Figurosity. Great pose references, diverse body types, lots of "how to draw" videos directly on the site, the models are 3d and you can rotate the angle, but you can't make custom poses or edit body proportions. Free, account option, paid plans available.

Line of Action. More drawing references, this one also has a focus on expressions, hands/feet, animals, landscapes. Free.

Animal Photo. You pose a 3d skull model and select an animal species, and they give you a bunch of photo references for that animal at that angle. Super handy. Free.

Height Weight Chart. You ever see an OC listed as having a certain weight but then they look Wildly different than the number suggests? Well here's a site to avoid that! It shows real people at different weights and heights to give you a better idea of what these abstract numbers all look like. Free to use.

concept: angels but they look like stingray skeletons

“You have to be there not for the fame and glory and recognition and being a page in a history book, but you have to be there because you believe your talent and ability can be applied effectively to operation of the spacecraft” - Alan Shepard

[Please don’t re-post or pin]