4 Lbs This Past Ten Days And I’m Depressed As Shit And All I Have To Talk To Are Three Old Depressed Ppl Who I Honestly Don’t Enjoy Spending - Blog Posts

art fanart procreate digital art pride month like actually god help me horror art the walten files twf fanart twf the walten files fanart susan woodings cw for talking about eating but I’m so fucking hungry this house is godawful at least I made the bedroom I’m staying in livable but my aunt is pretty much a hoarder like not the kind on tv obv but hooooly fuck and her kitchen is horrifying there’s always a rancid stench the fridge is even worse there’s all sorts of rotting and expired foods and its it’s messy and uncleaned with weird spills and stains and I have to physically hold my nose when opening it then when I’m done I have to run out of the kitchen cuz the scent lingers like think of the scent of pure rotting milk mixed with other expired stuff plz I’m in hell and it doesn’t help that I have ocd and also the cleanliness kind I feel filthy and everything downstairs is sticky and slimy esp in the kitchen and I always have to wash my hands vigorously and spray myself with scented spray every time I touch something cuz I’m so so terrified of getting the bad smells on me lol I’m sensetive to bad smells but dear god the only thing edible rn that’s not deeply unhealthy is this bagel half that I ate and for the past several days it’s just been one meal a day aka dinner smh sometimes two meals but that’s it I lost like 4 lbs this past ten days and I’m depressed as shit and all I have to talk to are three old depressed ppl who I honestly don’t enjoy spending more time around than I need to. sorry for ranting and venting but I’m really at rock bottom irl and it’s fucking with my mental health so bad. i remember how absolutely difficult it was to get the horrid stench out of my room too and how the bedroom window is jammed and sprayin febreeze every ten mins didn’t work but at least mt mom got me a plug-in. but yeah basically my family is homeless until the end of July staying with relatives until my mom has enough money saved up. she has a decent job thankfully but idk I actually wanna be dead. at least I’m finding some ppl to talk to me every now and then. my bf has been there for me 24/7 thankfully But fuuuck bro I hate this sm. when will it end. four more weeks of this shit. it’s funny cuz whenever I’m outside and far from here I feel free and at ease. but yeah staying at aunts with my dad. we’re in the desert at summer socal hottest time of the year such beauty.