But I Am Free - Blog Posts

Caved in and made some tadc ocs. 🥲

Them

Hassen- a very shy guy that hates to be touched. Is the type to growl at a mf, but in reality is terrified (basically a sheep in wolf's clothes)

Minnow- a guy that would really like to be left alone. She just wants to garden and forget that she's here.

Wepple-🤓. Really just needs a person to rant niche information to.

Dranya-hates being alone, but doesn't realize justvhowcannoying she can be at times. She will often times (with the help of the bear below) will force others to play along

Papa bear, basicly like those Midwestern fathers that force you to stay out of your room. But like, a bit more unhinged.

Also, Pickles is an empty suit so 👍

self indulgent fortnite sonic designs lol

I’m done with classes yippee!!! ✌️😜

Something is wrong with me and  don’t know what

Every morning I wake up and wish I didn’t

I put on clothes and resist the itch under my skin

pick and peel and theres always more layers

Who’s vessel am I in?

I eat food and only feel the textures

All I taste is dust

There are three hair ties where there should be two

I try not to greet my reflection,

It doesn’t matter, I’ll forget what he looks like when I leave the room

I hate my hair and the way I dress

I think there’s something wrong with me

I look up my interests in class because the people there scare me

I can’t look them in the eyes

If I must talk I become a facsimile of whoever they need me to be

I can tell my smile doesn’t reach my eyes.

I can’t check because I hate that thing in the mirror

I watch existentialist tv and relate to the people in the shows

They ask the tired questions

“Who am I,”

“Why am I here?”

“Am I a good person”

I know none of those answers

I stay in bed all day

It’s the only place I feel safe, sequestered from the world

Sometimes I like to imagine I’m sick just so my family will take care of me

I don’t think they like me very much

I dread going to bed

I love getting under the covers

I love nobody coming to bother me 

If I died here nobody would know until the next morning

And even then not until after 3

I love to sleep

I get to die in any way that matters for a bit

When you’re asleep you can pretend nobody knows you

And you know nobody

I hate waking up

I hate remembering I am known

I have therapy on Saturday 

She’ll ask me how I’m doing

I’ll forget all of this by then

She tells me I have successes

But measured against others I’ve done practically nothing 

What am k doing with my life

Is this even worth living

Am I even worth living

I write

I erase

I don’t make anything worthwhile 

Why even try

it stays in my notes to rot anyways

I want tk go missing

I think there’s something wrong with me

I think vanishing is a way of showing love

Leaving and letting people think you got raptured

It’s beautiful in a way